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New Year Fireworks for Men's 2s 🎇

7th January 2023

Bristol & West 2 [8-1] Whitchurch 2

Report by Tom "Fairest Bear" Faerber!


The Bristol and west hockey franchise club returned to the Mango field after the winter break to take on visiting dragon side White Church hockey franchise club.


A spell binding opening speech from Just Do It and his accomplice Mickey Mouse had the team raring to get out onto the Mango Field. Within 28seconds Lose More was in the danger zone and was awarded a death strike. The inserter played a wayward pass but Lose More managed to wiggle on a pence and slotted the ball into the ball bag. Wayne Bruce checks his watch, 1min 03 seconds gone. 1-0 to boys.


The Orange Lions continued some sublime stick ball skills, too much for the WhiteChurches who made more felonies giving away several death strikes. Netherway took a slip death strike from Lose More and used a non tactic slider placing it into the ball bag. 2-0.


Another death strike to come the boys couldn’t believe their luck. Dave’s beardless musical compatriot Chas had come off the sub shack to be the inserter for Lose More. An uncharacteristic goal shot and some speedy work from the Whitechurches meant Lose More could only get a half goal shot but the Fairest Bear made it to the ball with a one time goal shot past the goal tender. 3-0.


The sub shack was in full flow now and the team Squire played a mesmerising 1-2 with 2J spinning and slotting the ball under the goal tender 4-0.


The amount of balls in WhiteChurches net spurred them on with a barrage on the back defence. Hazelnut saved a delightful shot off the line with MaccyDs mopping up the danger zone preventing goal strikes. Wayne Bruce’s sheet was clean going into the citrus break.


Just Do It was back again with a discussion point to excited the boys. The fairest Bear and MaccyD wanted to keep the ManBats sheet clean for the second half.

It was going well. The boys got some more goal shots and a slopped death strike from Lose More allowed the Squire to pounce on another striker quality finish. 5-0.


For the WhiteChurches it was going from bad to worse. The fans were agitated it needed something to resurrect the game. Enter Just Do It. A bumpy ball pass into the fairest Bear triggered a reactive shot stop into the middle of Mango Field to the WhiteChurches. A tussle and struggle occurred a felony and Fairest Bear overpowered the WhiteChurch middle player with his shoulders. This got himself a late festive card from the game monitor and sat on the midway line for 5mins, to the delight of Chas and Dave who wanted to get onto the Mango Field.



The WhiteChurches pounced on the Orange Lions and put a goal shot into the ball bag. Wayne Bruce’s sheet was now dirty and now the ManBat was angry.

Big Dipper who’d been having a skill full game with Pin Badge mixing the sky shots and ground wiggles, placed a goal strike off his back striker into the corner. 6-1.

Seeing the sky shots from Pin Badge, Lose More was at it again and did some half sky shots before placing it into the ball bag to aid his own fantasy points. 7-1.


Seeing Holland and Barrett connect up with the strike force, the Orange Lions were seeking to close the game out. Netherway got his head up to play an inch perfect pass to find 2J waiting, who rolled the ball slowly passed the goal tender and reeled away before it hit the ball bag wall. A knife to the open wound. 8-1.


The boys clapped each other some fives and Wayne Bruce did some soccer skills to end the game.


Netherway came home with the winningest performance and the Fairest Bear had to sing 'I Want it That Way' for his midway line yellow card.





A great return for the Orange Lions into 2023. Bring on the Uni next week!


Goals: Lus x2, Kieran x2, Ben, Chipper, Faerber, JJ

MOM: Ben

DOD: Faerber

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